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Amusing Searches

Ever wonder what happens when you enter information in a search bar like the one up at the top? On this site, the search terms are collected and counted, along with data on what’s found and what isn’t. The information is helpful in a number of ways, but the very best searches are the ones that give me a grin. Checking my search engine stats is always an adventure, and some of them are just too good to keep to myself…

  • “Christmas Cantina” (On an LDS site? Not likely.)
  • “My sherry ammo” (Stevie Wonder patents a way to convert wine into a weapon. Pick some up at the Christmas Cantina.)
  • “Love Knows No Boarders” (This ain’t a bed and breakfast ya know…)
  • “The Morning Brakes” (Driving before you’re fully awake, eh?)
  • “A Manager Filled With Love” (Wishful thinking.)
  • “Holmes Bright Love” (When you have eliminated the impossible…)
  • “Dance of the Sugar Palm Fairy” (Think ballerina in a grass skirt.)
  • “Relief Society March” (Okay, I do understand the intent… but oh, the visual images…)
  • “Woke up this morning” (My favorite joke: What’s the inscription on a blues singer’s tombstone? “I didn’t wake up this morning…”)
  • “Titanic” (Near, far, but not on this site.)
  • “Under the Sea” (That’s where you’ll find the Titanic.)
  • “If I Stood Beside Me” (There is help for this kind of thing.)
  • “Make Me One” (Er… ditto.)
  • “I’ll Find Me, My Friend” (Um…do you sense a theme here?) (BTW, I didn’t write the correctly-named version either, despite what some websites say.)
  • “God Sent An Angle” (A right angle, of course. Mothers are always right.)
  • “The Angles Came To Sing” (Sounds like a trippy Geometry nightmare to me.)
  • “It Came Upon A Midnight Clean” (Those angles are a bit fanatical about their housekeeping.)
  • “Be Still, My Sole” (Shush. It’s the salmon’s turn to sing.)
  • “Gethsemenenne” (Viktor? Is that you?)
  • “Sally Forth” (Not even Sally DeForth?)
  • “Hark the Herald Angels Sin” (Tsk tsk… tarnished haloes…)
  • “I Stand Almoazed” (I don’t have “Almoazing Grace” either.)
  • “I Stand All Amused” (I do this often, but I don’t tend to write songs about it.)
  • “Obbligato for Bishop” (Hmmm… is a Bishop a C instrument or a transposing instrument?)
  • “Cat” (Hard as I try, I just can’t seem to upload the cat.)
  • “Panino” (A new concept in e-commerce: downloadable sandwiches.)
  • “Piece of an angel to watch over me” (What, you don’t want the whole angel?)
  • “The Aster’s Voice” (Sounds like something straight out of Merrie Melodies.)
  • “Shards of Grass” (Not your typical “Barefoot Lawn”)
  • “You must have been a beautiful baby” (Thank you!)

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  1. EM

    Hello there… Where can I find the section on recording and selling recorded music for profit?

  2. Jeana T Rock

    Hilarious! Thanks for sharing these gems and your snarky comments. LOL!

  3. MH THumb

    Missing some songs for the up and coming ascension. I know Bach had his BWV 11, but he’s no moderntime Sally. 🙂

  4. chelsea

    Fun to read, thanks for sharing 🙂

  5. Mary A Bower

    I have loved your music for years…but just saw the transposition tool for the first time and used it to lower one of your Christmas songs for my low alto. The program worked great! Tnks for sharing it…I’m too old for those higher notes!

    Love the “Amusing Searched” too. Thank you for all the great FREE choir and solo music.

  6. Angela Jacobson

    This was hilarious and made me full out belly laugh, which I haven’t done in a long time! Thanks for sharing!

  7. Tonya Harrington

    I love your comments (amusing searches); they made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. Thanks for sharing

  8. Stephanie Chapman

    Love This! You are not only so talented in music, but you have a hilarious sense of humor! Thank you for both!! 🙂

  9. Barry Haworth

    “It Came Upon a Midnight Clean”.

    That would be the midnight when the Shepherds Washed their Socks by Night.
    After they spilled some of that Most Highly Flavoured Gravy.

  10. Sheila Eastman

    Dear Sally, First thank you so much for the beautiful arrangements! I am a piano player so am focusing on those – for Christmas. SO please keep creating more! And the amusing searches – I had a great laugh!! I’m tempted to put in a few just for your entertainment!

    • sallydeford

      I’m surprised more people haven’t done that, actually. 😉

  11. Shawn Stringham

    Just looked over your amusing takes on search engines-your comments to their requests were even funnier than what they wrote. I imagine everyone wants to be your best friend. Come out to Utah next General Conference and stay with us! (winky face)
    Our choir loves anything you do and we make sure you are a part of every Christmas and Easter program. Thank you for keeping your light brightly lit. It warms us all:)

  12. Kati Blackledge

    OH BOY – I really got a good hearty laugh at the funny engine searches. Thanks for sharing that with us.


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