Talking Good English on the Interwebs
My world has been way too gloomy lately. It’s time for some fun, so let’s talk about…
Talking Good English On the Interwebs
Spammers don’t. Which makes the job of spam filters easier, and like most site-owners, I use a spam filter.
If you could see my spam bin, you’d see why. I get thousands… thousands… of spammy comments. They usually contain links to some very predictable offerings—and some unexpected ones as well. (Amoxicillin anyone?)
I also use a profanity filter which is set fairly prudishly. So if, like my dear sister-in-law, you were born a “Buttars,” your comments may get sent to spam.
Now and then I have to check for legitimate comments that might have been deep-sixed along with the garbage, so I find some real gems hidden in the clutter. These may be computer-generated by bots, but like the silly searches that occasionally turn up, they’re just too good to keep to myself.
So here ya go. May they brighten your day as they have brightened many of mine. (My comments are in parentheses.)
Do you have a downside to fruit flies? (Okay… we’re starting off well here. Is there an upside to fruit flies?)
I wish to show appreciation to the writer… I was thinking my life was gone. (Staff paper rarely has this much influence. I’m grateful. **sniff**)
Heart! is one of importen organ in human ! (Nah. Totally not importen.)
We are a gaggle of volunteers. (Why do I need volunteers who honk? I have several who hiss, but they also purr.)
Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles? (Too much work. I’d have to do something constructive like, oh, write music. I’d need a gaggle of volunteers… hmmm…)
I am regular visitor, how are you everybody? (My gaggle of volunteers and I are doing well, thanks!)
I was wondering if anyone would be interested in making discount paypal, WU or moneygram transfers. (My whole gaggle is honking with excitement.)
Invest in a husband and wife as well as a few of them. (Wait… a few of what? Husbands? Wives? Husbands and wives?)
What i don’t understood is in reality how you’re not really much more smartly-preferred than you might be right now. (Probably because I haven’t invested in enough husbands and/or wives.)
Your house is valueble for me. Thanks!? (Ah, I see. The husbands and/or wives should come with property.)
Brand new boots , every day ! (I need new brand new boots! Every day! And a new closet to keep them in! And a new house for the new closet! I simply must invest in a few husbands and/or wives!)
If you are expecting a baby, it is essential for you to beverage enough. (I am not expecting a baby, but I beverage excessively. Take note, all you expectant husbands and/or wives. Go beverage. Then beverage some more.)
I have observed that in the world the present day, video games are definitely the latest fad with kids of all ages. (Um, really?)
Mostbeutiful thing we can have , is childrens ! (A gaggle of them? Do they come with the husbands and/or wives–like the houses? Or just with video games?)
Hello my family member! I wish to say that this article is amazing, nice written and come with almost all vital infos. (Almost. No SSN, credit cards, or bank account numbers. Sorry, my family member. My bad.)
In the awesome scheme of things you actually secure an A. (In the awesome scheme of things, you actually secure a Zed… as in Zed-Zed Top… you know… the guys with the beards? Except the one whose name is Beard. He has a moustache.)
My web-site : g (Aw man, I tried going there and all I got was some guff about the seventh letter of the Latin alphabet. The internet must be broken. Again.)
Major tourist development for blacksmiths (Wait, are we done with the alphabet thing? Ah well. Sounds more interesting than amoxicillin.)
Draw your fingernails over a nightclub of detergent, to seal off the undersides. (Um… I’m… uh… nope. Anybody else want to take this one?)
Love new house ! (Go invest in some husbands and/or wives.)
Love watching Boxing ! (Go invest in some husbands. Wives not so much.)
Love watch Ships !? (Okay, you’re on your own from here…)
Love to eat some spicy soup ! !
Love boats and all around them !
Love sand and sand clock !
Love playing guitar , day to day !
Love watching Sun !
People love to talk a lot ! (So do bots. Alexa, eat your unimporten heart out.)
There’s some new music coming in the next couple of weeks. I (and my gaggle of volunteers) actually work on real stuff occasionally. 😉
Whoa… newsflash… 7/10/20… I just figured out where “draw your fingernails over a nightclub of detergent” came from! It’s a weird translation of the old advice to scrape your fingernails over a bar of soap during a messy task, to keep them from getting dirt under them. I’m still giggling over that one…
I’m still giggling over that one…
Me too, 😛
I didn’t get it until I read it at the end. But you know what, it makes sense. I would rather scrape that soap than spend several minutes trying to get to that very last bit of dirt out of my nails.
Keep your music coming. I love every one of them.even though I can’t play them any more. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Sally, These are so funny! Thanks for the translation chuckles.
You might get a kick out of a few of the computer translations I get from a Russian music website. These are what the browser spits out when I turn the Russian-to-English translator on for the titles of sheet music which are written in cyrillic. These are direct quotes, including the words in parentheses.
* The method of robots with a spiritual orchestra in the cob special specials of the mystic’s in-house mortgages (schools of the ecchemist vichovanna).
* The earpiece is a trumpeter. Methodist recommendations for the ever-egg-laying of the I-II culture.
* Theoria that practice is the perch of the man on perfume tools (trombone)
Wow. Just wow.
This…this was GREAT! A much needed laugh this afternoon!! THANK YOU for sharing!!
Too funny. If we can’t get rid of spam, we might as well laugh at it!
Have you seen James Veitch’s videos? He likes to respond to spammers and to toy with them.
Yup. Pretty funny guy!
Thanks. Made me laugh.
Thanks for the smiles….and the wonderful music!
You’re welcome! Smiles *are* importen. 😉
So funny. Thanks for sharing. I write articles that are published in engineering journals, all related to test results of new instruments. I laughed so hard the time I got an invite to submit an article to a gynecological publication. How does what I do relate to them??
Hmmm… maybe women in STEM fields? Dunno. 😉
Imporen: a shopping email! junk goes there! a real email for frens only
Love your music!
Can’t wait for new songs! (I can’t sing them for a while at Church, though! Please pray for my voice teacher he’s very ill.)
So, hilariously enough, this didn’t get sent to spam. I must a have a pretty smart spam filter. 🙂
And yes, I will pray for your voice teacher. And so many others. <3